The
Preliminary image, « impressive » expression and self portrait
(suite
de <=)
Dr Bernard Auriol
“Spring days” of the French Society of Psychopathology of the expression
(Albi, 31 May and 1st June 1986) [published
in " Psychologie Médicale", 1987, 19, 9 ; 1543-1547]
(translated by Béatrice Bonzom-Gourc)
Reverse perspectives : the no self-portrait
« The purely outward destruction of the « I »
is quasi-infernal distress »
(S.Weil)
On the contrary, it occurs that the image of the body
is banned, in such a way that the drawing of the subject doesn’t show any
human or even animal forms. All drawing can be even rejected till the more
comprehensive collective or personal iconoclasm. From this point of view,
we could compare the protective religions of images (African animism, Hinduism,
Buddhism, Catholicism, Orthodoxy) and the ones that forbid them (Judaism,
Protestantism and overall Islam). Portrait chase is very important in Islam
but we can find it in the Thora and the New Testament, even if iconoclasm
can’t emerge among Catholic and Orthodox, protestantism and a certain modernity,
granted by Vatican II are rejecting again « abuse » of Holy images….It
is completely different regarding Hinduism and even Buddhism, despite it «reformed »
character.
No self image in
the spontaneous drawings
Some people agree or choose to draw pictural or graphic
work but are careless about representing themselves.
Turned against
his father
Ouattam, self-employed, in his 32 years, has carried out
200 hours but only 8 drawings during 2 years and half. Jealousy with regard
to his girlfriend. Inferiority feelings and strong ambition, authority refusal.
He says about his father that « he
manages to get , scheming with relationships », that he « bawls and wants to dominate the other ».
« In my mind, I’m always in conversation with him,
(for eight or nine years), in a relationship
of conflict! ». At times ; pronounced acne, difficulty in breathing,
fast ejaculation.
Tied hands
Naudal (37 years old), being motherless (« she died of love, at my birth »),
was brought up by his two grandmothers alternately. He says that his father
was very severe and the house very dirty. He complains of (with a nasal voice)
constipation, stomach pains, tiredness, obsessions, introversion, complexes…former
seminarist, he confesses to be very scrupulous. Since his 16 years, he used
to tie himself the hands when he goes to bed in order to avoid masturbating.
He had to repress very strong incestuous tendencies with regard to his twin
sister. He has behind him six years of psychoanalysis of which he seems to
have obtained a great facility of expression and a rationalist use of the
freudian concepts. He makes dreams with a passive homosexual content, while
he wishes to have a feminine relationship when he is awake.
He made 4 drawings during 120 hours of Tomatis Ear (spread
over a period of one year and half) ; no self-portrait.
A Tormented bear
E. Scorcié (27 years old) is a perfectionist student specialized in architecture who tries to anticipate
« all the imaginable snags », and to make only « completed works », the result
is his extreme slowness of realization and his inability to end his studies,
despite an outstanding schooling, a good intellectual level and an excellent
memory. It is considered as « a bear », « a tormented soul », despite
his self-confidence when he is speaking. Alternately, he claims his loneliness
and the communication, sometimes he shows himself in an aggressive way, and
even violent, with regard to his wife. He is very jealous. His oldest memory
is the one of a baby at the breast and inside a baby carriage. In the past,
he somatized under a bronchial way (bronchopneumonia, asthma) ; when
all things are going in a bad way, he becomes hypersomniac, feels strong muscular
tensions mainly at the jaw, « lombo-dorsalgies », « acouphenes »,
nausea, « a lump in his stomach
that blocks all ». He makes mistakes (lapsus, failed acts, lapse
of memory). During 56 hours, within 4 months, he realized 15 drawings all
non figurative.
Exploited ?
Sam Zoss is 42 years old, He- or more precisely, his wife
– complains about his sexual impotence, for which we will not find an organic
disorder. « Nevertheless »,
it is a conscientious and zealous worker who, always from the point of view
of his wife, would be inclined to be exploited till to fall ill ; indeed
he suffers from « sciatalgies », treated by Mezieres’
physiotherapy. Moreover, he would suffer from « acouphenes », some
« lapse of memory », and various
signs of an « hidden »
depression : headaches, hypersomnia. Thanks to the Tomatis Ear therapy
and some sexological advices, he will overcome these symptoms little by little.
During the 110 hours of his sonic therapy that he carried out on 8 months,
he realized 24 drawings without any self-portrait.
That someone cut
them !
Y. Cecoupas is a stammerer
in his 22 years who carries out the Tomatis Ear therapy in order to improve
his speech. He shares little confidences ; nevertheless I learn that
he wants to do a vasectomy, despite his youth. It happens to him, dreaming
as well as in the real life, to bang himself on the frame of an opened door
or to strike violently on the corner of a table, that he hurt himself and
needs to be stitched up…(78 hours, 30 drawings or paintings, any self-portrait).
Don Juan
K.Zanof (26 years old) shows at the MMPI, high scales
regarding Hysteria and Psychopathy. Very attractive, he increases the feminine
conquests, all the more so since he belongs to a movement that lauds a big
freedom in the relationships. He is very extrovert and active. During his
Tomatis Ear therapy (60 hours) he realized 19 drawings (no self-portrait).
The spiritual fight
T.Higourou (46 years old) realizes 85 drawings during
125 hours spread over of a period of 16 months. He complains of diabetes with important variations in the glycaemia
(treated by diet), various digestive disorders (vesicular disorders, stomach
pains), « rachialgies », urticaria with enormous rash crisis from
the waist to the neck, allergic rhinitis, thinness, tiredness. It is a « hypomane »
person short of spirituality, who uses to addict to several exercices of yoga
and of meditation on a twice-daily basis. He finds himself too much
aggressive, quick-tempered. He complains about the authoritarianism attitude
of his mother and the retiring attitude of his father.
Swap Perversion/
Psychosis and recurrence
Mr. Boadukir is a man in his 38 years. Undesirable child
, he was brought up, mainly, far from his family (by his grandmother who did
not like him, then inside the military academy). The first pathological events
took place during his academic studies : he exposed himself in front
of a young girl and more later a young boy ( small prison sentences). Following
this, he has carried out a classic psychoanalytical therapy for three years :
he has accumulated diploma and got a very interesting job that he will hold
for ten years.
When I meet him, he suffers from auditory hallucinations
and « interpretative » (influence) phenomena based on the postulate
of a feminine persecution (neighbours, niece, his own mother). The following
symptoms are broken out after a period of a high level of alcohol and the
result of failure at his job. Since, he has been living with his intrusive
mother, who is left serviceman’s widow, and who pays a lot of attention to
alcohol and tabacco problems.
All sexual excitation (and even all friendly attitude)
that he could feel, would be harmful to those (masculine or female person)
that would be subjected… himself included. Boadukir gives a very ambivalent
attitude regarding this issue, complaining alternately of being impotent (with
prostitutes for example) and not being it (when he is thinking about certain
persons. « one uses my sexuality
in order to «chevrer »).
He protects himself using body massage with vegebom
and obstructing his ears with earplug.
When he is irritated, he feels it especially at neck that he scratches frenetically.
He suffers often from sinusitis fronto-maxilla with clear liquid (probably
allergic root).
During his sonic therapy treatment (176 hours of « Tomatis
Ear » during three years), he realized 148 drawings (any realistic self-portrait).
We will see him at the MMPI test to go from a « psychotic profile »
(triade Pa, Pt et Sc > 80 at MMPI) to a psychopathic attitude (Pd >80,
others scales <70) coming back at structural psychopathological level to
it beginning (even if any acting of exhibitionist has been done for)….
On the medical plane, being « cured », at the
psychiatric level a bronchial cancer is diagnosed, implying the removal of
a lung. Operation to which he will survive only few months….
The father left
his mark on him
P. Airdur is a serious and hardworker man ; he shows
an excessive interest in checkings (« is
my wallet well in my pocket », etc..). His mother had a passive attitude
in front of the very hard attitude of his father and this would be the result
of his strong shyness with regard to new people, but the more, in front of
a man with an authoritarian coldness attitude. The somatical disorders are
stomach pains, vomitings, diarrhoea or constipation, headaches, lombalgo.
P. Airdur carried out 162 hours (during 4 years) in which he realized 15 non-figurative
drawings.
Do you want my
picture ?
D. Hurfeuil comes and sees me, in his 30, for partial
deafness affecting mainly the high sounds. He recalls when he was in his thirteen
to have felt a dreadful fright when he was surprised by the very close noise
of a train which was going at full speed while he was playing on a near embankment
. He is careful about psychological matter and shows himself radically opposed
to some confidence. He carried out eight diagrams in order to help him to
solve a jigsaw and any other graphic or pictural work within 42 hours spread
over a period of one year and three months.
Refusal to represent oneself
Some people accept or choose to make graphic or pictural
work but refuse to represent themselves.
We have searched, among the one hundred files of our patients
which include the test of the family drawing, the ones in which the subject
had neglected to draw himself (D. Wildlocher, 1965). We have found twelve
(six for each sex).
Give me some parents
that love me
Erémia writes « I’m
focused on wrong problems of decreasing my standing, my prospect is the one
of a negative future, from my dissatisfaction of the realized, my position
left aside… ». The alternative sets up at the beginning of our meetings
is to be relieved or to end with life. The symptoms are represented by the
feeling of loneliness, of « dereliction », of insecurity, strong
phobic constraint (« as my sister
and my mother », « I’m scared of losing me, to be unable to… »),
the weight of an unsatisfied conjugal relationship, the lack of sexual relationships,
lack of offspring (she became infertile, maybe after the abortion of a child
issued from a not very stable relationship.
« When my parents died, nothing
was fine for me : it was an attractive parental couple that made up for
something missing during my chilhood ». Needless
to stress on that she had suffered from a serious affective inadequacy
on behalf of her own parents !
The average regarding the increase of MMPI is at 66. The
hightest notes are particularly the ones of nevrotism (Ne) and of opposition
to authority (Pd). The Lüscher’s test shows the instinctive inhibition, the
counter-subordination, the fear of the devalorization : « I’m wondering the question of my self
image in relation to the others : I saw myself walking in the street,
caught and being at odds with myself ». She specifies often the terms
of a conflict where, the horror of
being « in somebody’s hands »
and the inability to release herself from various forms of the need of
security, are in direct opposition.
It is only after a large amount of meetings that she recalls
her childhood : « I lived
bad times, the cold, my father was drinking, my mother was always complaining,
she used to confide in ours as if we were adults». « She was very pessimistic, very neurotic : it is her fault if I
have never had children… ». Born nine years after her sisters she
was even not a boy( !)…
My occasional lateness in receiving her is dramatized :
she is abandoned, lost like the « petit Poucet ». She is very sensitive
to the anguish of separation « I
feel bad when I’m deprived, but, basically, they make me stronger after… ».
To be late or to be subject to a lateness is like being lost ; this last
term appears also regarding change, whatever it is, mainly regarding choice
and also money…This collective fantasy is linked to the social reality of
the family, not very wealthy : « I
have always lived on a boat ready to sink, because we were always threatened
to be turned out of the place where we were living. When we had to move, I
used to kiss the walls before leaving ! » « My father
felt ill when I was eight years and remained in this state till his death,
17 years later. I used very often to hear if he was breathing ! During
puberty time, as I had called him and he was not answering, I believed him
died : my periods have stopped for several years ».
She assimilates into Blanche Neige in the following dream :
« the mistress of my husband, who
had lived in our house, was come back and carried apples…I held it against
me for not beating her up as I would like to do ! ». « My mother
was jealous regarding the relationships that existed between my father and
me. »…
Not sure to be
loved
Pimprenelle comes and sees me « between two trains »,
so to speak ; she mentions two years of analysis in Paris, makes a show of
her relationships with such one or such famous psychoanalyst, mentions his
former activity as nurse in a Psychiatric Hospital. Her husband unlike his
father, would be a man who rejects the work. Recently he starts an analytical
approach. She will separate from him « in six months »…Both are living on her activities (esotericism,
group activity). The MMPI shows overall an increase at the psychopathic scale,
and also of the Ma, Pt, Sc scales. The Lüscher shows a probable reactional refusal regarding the maternal
image. Her life is a permanent escape, she is going from one place to another, getting into debt everywhere.
She manages to pay none of my consultations other than giving me some words,
for her or her girl. The absence of her image in the family drawing is probably
the reflect of the feeling of being
rejected, not loved. Pimprenelle is looking for her mother on whose she feels that she
has rights, by who she has been frustated, who repudiated her, that she is not « sure ».
Neglected because
of his younger
Apobol is a young child in his six years, pupil of the
nursery high school. We can note rivalry towards his two years younger brother.
His mother describes him as a rowdy, aggressive and possessive child :
« I ‘m somewhere his scapegoat ». The father has two girls born of a
first marriage. It emerges from the test of Lüscher that Apobol has the feeling
to be subjected to excessive strictnesses and, despite all his efforts, it
doesn’t appear any comprehensive consideration. He has the feeling to be neglected
and scorned.
The nausea
Emétès, 17 years old, complains about anguish crisis characterized
by strong sweating, painful « strictions » at the neck and stomach,
vomiting that bring him relief. He gets used to bringing them on as a precaution,
when appears a travel prospect, a competitive sport, examinations, a restricting
place, narrow with people around, etc… The MMPI shows an increase at the Mf,
Pt, Sc scales and at the anguish index. He thinks often of death during nightdreaming
as well as when he is sleeping. « Why should I live ? Now, I become
atheistic.
His parents have just got divorced « because of the
suicide attempts » of his mother. He has two brothers that live with
him and his mother. He describes his father as a violent, very domineering
man ; « he is scaring my brothers » ; « at
times, I wish he was died ». Sometimes, he imagines that his father
could kill him with his gun. « he
had five bullets on his bedside table : this made one bullet for each
member of the family, included himself ». He dreams « in the Middle Ages a bearded man is
burnt, a kind of pirate who show no reaction ». (the free associations
show that he calls to mind from that side the analyst and a grandfather, both
bearded).
Emétès is afraid of, if he expresses himself, being dismissed
by me hopeless to come back, that I don’t want to see him again. Watching
at a « teddy bear » remaining on the divan, he wishes he had
one when he was a child, neither something
similar, « while my best friend
had a blanket of which he could not manage without it around and that I hid
it to him- to his great anger- perhaps I wish I had one »…During
numerous years « I used to tap
my head gathering speed against the wall in order to sleep, always on this side (to the right) »…We know
that this « offensa capitis » practical has been compared with a
specific attitude of the mother with regard to her child : she looks
after him in an irregular, unstable way, giving him maternal affection during
a certain period of time, then abandoning him, coming back to him later, etc…
She doesn’t give herself permission for taking him in his arms the more it
would be necessary (R.M. Silberstein et coll., 1966). This kind of possible
interaction shows enough signs in the speech of Emétès so that we can ratify
it : he describes the successive contradictory attitudes that she shows
towards him and towards his older brother.
After the divorce of his parents, he gives himself the
father’s role, even if he denies being like him : « I want to be
more liberal », particularly related to the absence of his mother during
eight days…It happens to him to sleep next to his mother ; he dreams
that he punches her strongly. Besides, it is what he did indeed in his sleep…
He rejects « to go out in a night club »
despite the objurgations that she did him, asserting that he would be tired
if he staid up. His brother wishes to get married and as he has no money he
throws this (half) jest « I
will sale my arse to old girls… ». Emétès asserts that he could do
the same thing, without any trouble because « it
is an easy way to make money ».
Thus, we can see here again the rejection of the mother
(although occasional, incomplete) and the conflict with the father (life or
death question) translating into the absence of the image of oneself in the
family drawing.
The tears of her mother
Béja is in love with her brother Gabertin
: “if he gets married one day it will be very
hard! I could not stand it ! If his wife is nice with me, all will be fine,
but if not…”. She comes and sees me about her very embarrassing stammering that has not redeced to the
usual processes (CPPM, speech therapy, acupuncture, etc…). We note also
“onychophagy”. She confesses that she “is afraid of being embarrassing inside
the family”. The Lüscher test suggests that she feels like neglected and
scorned. The MMPI shows a difficult character to handle, making life difficult
to her managers. The Pa’s scale that indicates some suspicion, feeling of being
wronged , etc is high enough (78). She makes nightmares, she has fears regarding
the family. We have to tell that the four children are born within a period
of time of four years only ! When her mother was in labour for her
second daughter, Béja, she couldn’t help crying. Gabertin the third came
after and it will exist a very strong rivalry between them and their younger
brother, the little, « Dididier ».
Too much
Dialusine is a young
girl in her six years old that shows a pressing need of tenderness and affection.
She is strained for rivaling, she is racked by all kinds of internal contradictions…
She is suffering from the recent separation of her parents, which relationships
have began to strain when she was two years old : the father, immigrant
and political militant, after some procrastinations has opted, to the detriment
of his couple, for a free life in which he could live his homosexuality
without any familial obstacles. During some months, he has taken into Dialusine’s
care, then sent back to her mother, saying that he didn’t want to see her
anymore because she has asthma like her mother, looks like her « to
this point »…
Abandoned in a convent
Orphania, 61 years old
comes and sees me for depressions that follow one another, on the occasion
of several events : driving licence, road accident where her niece
has been « smashed », accident of her alcohoolic sister who killed
a passer-by,… The MMPI shows an increase at 74 regarding « psychastheny »’s
scale (tendency for meticulousness, anxio-depressive phenomenon, etc). When
she has been « cured » of her depressive situation
which has been her own for several years, it is for developing a
somewhat excessive excitation accompanied with a troublesome easily or even
very clearly aggressive activity (hypomania).
Moreover, she says that
she has an inferiority complex, to feel nervous, to suffer from a certain
lonelyness despite her religious community life that she shares and « could
not blossom her out ». She joined the convent when she was 17 years
old after being brought up in this same place since the death of her father
(she was 4 years old). Her beginnings in this place were traumatizing :
« I took me eight days to get
accustomed, crying without stopping in order to come back home . They said
that a good whipping calmed me down ! »… Her brother, him,
has remained close to her mother….
To be absent
Epoudos (25 years old) goes and sees me “in
order to progress”. He is left-handed, shows a slightly scoliosis and its
consequences (pains…), speaks in a two tones voice, says that he is a selfish
person, has doubts regarding his own sincerity, describes himself with a
cynical attittude, but, basically, not very self-confident…He is looking
for “taking up the place” speaking a lot, showing himself mainly on a conciliating
and engaging or even weak way : “I
let me tread on my toes even if it means imagining to put a bomb inside
his car or putting the fire at his home…”; he has also explicit and
aggressive movements with regard to his equals and to his superiors because
he gets easily upset, he says that he is jealous for everything. Psychiatrist
that he has already met (under the parental authority) have alternately
shaken him up or reassured him…He meets various setbacks and, each times,
he thinks about suicide instead of facing issues.
He exclaims : « how does it make sense
that I manage to get into trouble and after I’m surprised ? » . He says about his mother that she is possessive, that
their link is symbiotic ; he claims that he is independent of her with
difficulty but becomes involved in the ways that she intensely scorns :
firstly shopkeeper, then employee…when his mother is subjected to an hysterectomy
and felt depressed he asserts that « I still have to protect myself
against her ; I must always stay on my guard, otherwise she will regain
power ». He dreams that he holds in the hand a swinsuit too much large,
then he realizes that is the one of his mother. He very often fantasizes
an attack « from behind »
or that « he is going to be eaten
with big teeth »…When he is alone, he has the feeling to be abandoned,
rejected. « If I was alone then
I will not exist (feeling of dying alive) ». «One (my mother, and also my father, too much
retired) would have me believe that the moon is made of green cheese ».It
is noteworthy that he has been subjected to frenquent urologycal checkup
(with rectal examination) accompanied by his father, prostate sufferer,
for small urinary emissions following to normal miction…
A lot of elements call
to mind the « Kleinien paranoide » position. Why one’s forget
in all the sense of the expression ? Not obviously because he would
have been neglected or abandoned by his mother, but rather because he fantasizes
the persecution, repulsion, including with him such brother that he also
avoids to drawing, whereas he shows his existence, declaring that he is
out of the house…
Who is guilty ?
Demosion is 15 years
old when he comes to see me. His mother, a spanish woman, and rejected by
her husband’s parents for this reason, should have to be hospitalized during
the major part of her pregnancy « in order to keep him », then
he has been subjected to an « blood transfusion ». He got asthma
like his father, when he was three years old, which coincides with the creation
of his younger brother of whose he always shows jealousy with regard to
him afterwards. He becomes famous at school through aptitude for studying
held carefully fallow : « can improve », « does not
take part »,etc…The mother is suffering from depression with nighmares,
headaches, cervical osteoarthritis, « mastose ». Continual conflicts
with his father can be noticed. He plan to become police inspector. The
Lüscher test shows that he has the feeling of being neglected and scorned.
Wrongly loved
Muniés is an industrial
manager in his 25 years old. He finds himself hypersensitive and is victim
of repetitive situations that confront him with a problem. He has some issues
with his colleagues and managers, as he used to get with his parents, « I’m living in an endless fighting »,
he says. Moreover, his very advanced religious process cut it off from the
concrete of the action…He would rather join the probationary of a religious
order rather than following a therapy. Previously, when he was student,
« he was fighting against anonymity »,
had difficulties for studying, he constantly went and saw teachers. He is
not very self confident. He says about his mother that she was a hard, moralizing
person and has given little affection to her family. Himself has the feeling
tobe misunderstood especially…The MMPI shows an increase on several scales,
mainly on those which suggest an opposition to the authority, a feminine
identification, some excitation…Regarding the Lüscher test, we can note
that he « applies himself to
proving himself in order to free himself from fear of deprivation and of
exclusion ». Regarding his drawing of the family, he specifies
that interest was focused on his sister instead of him…
Skelettor
Psellos is eight years old when I examine
him for a stammering issue. He
is a very gentle, shy child, exaggerating his willingness but very slow,
slighly “his head
in the clouds”, left-handed wrongly “lateralized”. His parents lays
stress on his very strong jealousy regarding his two young sisters (5 and
3 years old). Rivalry that confirm the drawings that he made with the sun
: alternately rays appear big and small…(Cf. Monique Pagés-Bord, the sun
representation in the drawing of the child, 1974). His favorite readings
are related to : “Tom Thumb, Snow White and Little Red Riding
Hood”…He is also very interested by Skelettor and Thao (“abandoned child”)…
Platonist
Brunehilde is a teacher in her 45 years old and is sent to
me by her acupuncturist for a strong depressive state which has been resisting
to the classical chemotherapy as well as alternative medecines since one year.
With a childhood girlfriend, she has a very satisfying sentimental and sexual
life, marked by quarrels and reconciliations. In order to give an explanation
to her depressive state, she puts the bad health of her parents forward, overall
the falling down of the intellectual abilities of her mother and who shows
strong memory’s disorders. Indeed, she will become later aware of the strong
aggressiveness that she was unconsciously developing with regard to this woman
; she calls out to her father « we are going to be eaten (by her) both
! ». Brunehilde has frequent conflicts with the head of the school,
that she believes to have harmful strengths. She declares : « my father
shows humanity and generosity, former officer of the French Colonial Army
; I identify myself with him : I have got the same twitch, the same gesture,
the same emotionalism ». Later, during her psychotherapy she will confess,
regarding a priest with whom she gets relationships closer and closer : «
I imagine to give my life for him »…Priests, forbidden objects, have
always fascinated her…For her, it is the resurgence of previous incestuous
dreams with her mother (« because he is very feminine ») as well
as her father. When she was a child she couldn’t stand that a conflict went
on between one of her two parents, she was doing her best in order to get
a reconciliation. She looked like a little boy when she was alone ( most of
part of the year) with her mother (teacher). She adopted an internal status
in accordance to her body during her father’s vacations (serviceman) who,
then joined them and that she found too much retiring in front of her spouse
a more intellectual person. Her sexual image will improve during the therapy
: « I have the feeling to be neither a man nor a woman, only an human
being ! ». At another time : « I desire some men as if they were
woman and me a man »… and « I see my sexual relationship as a
power point which would have a male tip and a female housing. »
Brunehilde finds herself excluded of the family drawing which
mother is the strongest element, while this last one wished a boy and never
gave up this desire….The contradiction brought by the reality could only result
by aggressivity combined with surprotection.
In order to draw up the profile of the subjects that reject
to include their own body in the one of the family, we will call back some
conclusions for each one of the twelve observations available.
